Girl friend issue, HELP!?

[Kevin147]

Okay, a few days before Christmas started, my friend TJ, came up to me and told me that my Girl friend would be breaking up with me after christmas. He said he found out because 2 of her friends went to TJ, and told him about it, including my girl friend's sister. Well, I really didn't believe him at first, and so what I did, was just be ready for the breakup. The breakup did happen after Christmas. How the arguement started was like this: She came online, like usually to talk to me. She said, "Hey" And then we had a normal conversation. Then she asked me to call her, and I did so. When I called her, we had a pretty good conversation there, she talked about Horses. Then after a few moments of silent, she said someone else asked her out. I asked, "What?" Just trying to make sure that I was correct about her saying that thing. Then she said, "You heard me," Then all I heard was the phone hanging up after that. She was still online, so I asked her, "Is the relationship between you and me done?" And she said yes. Then, a few nights later, she called me around 9:00PM EST. I answered the phone wanting to know what she wanted, and she asked me back out. What the question I have is, is, Was she using me in the first place until she found someone better? Or was she trying to make me more jealous? Please help me, because I really don't know what to think at this point.

[IAMSAM]

Hi Kevin, welcome to TC!

The only way to know for sure why she broke up with you is to ask her. However, the larger issue (regardless of her reasoning) is if that's acceptable to you, to break up (especially the way she did!), and then reverse her decision and expect you to continue. At the very least, what she did was impulsive and showed a lack of concern for your feelings, it would have been best if she gave more thought to all this and the result, rather than take a 'let's try it' approach.

I'd encourage you to decide if this is someone who you want to trust again, rather than spend a lot of time determining her motives. We never fully know why people do what they do, we just have the results. And it's usually best to decide on a course of action based on our feelings to that.

[thePianoMan]

Guys will never understand women...and we will do stupid things and put ourselves through hell to get the ones we want!

Anyway...I think she just doesn't know what to do. I think she likes you, but then when someone else asked her out, she started questioning your relationship. She needed to try something new. You are teenagers and neither of you completely know what you want in a relationship...she was just testing out other people.

I really don't think she's using you or that she has any other ulterior motives...I think she's just a normal teenager who is testing out relationships to figure out what she actually is looking for in a partner.

[welshtaffy]

Hi Kevin,
I say don't get back with her. She obviously doesn't care about you, if she had any feelings for you she wouldn't have been so quick to finish things and go with the first boy that asked her out.
If she had said no to him that would have shown you just how much she cares for you, in this case she didn't, she run off to see if the grass was greener on the other side.
I'm guessing that things didn't go to well with the other lad so thats why she has come back to you, don't have her back, she WILL do it again, if you think you can handle being treated 2nd best then by all means continue, but if she has done it once then she will do it again.
You deserve better than her, tell her so, and wait for that special someone to come along.
You might feel awful to do this to her, like its all your fault but remember, she planned this, not you.
You will find someone who will love you for you and not till someone else comes along.
Be strong Kevin and Good luck. :)

[nickw_2013]

Hi Kevin,
I don't beieve she broke up with you to make you jealous or that she was using you either. But I don't think she cared about you quite as much as you may have thought. She may have just been curious about what the other guy would be like, and obviously it didn't turn out quite the way she wanted, or she probally wouldn't be trying to date you again. I can't tell you wether or not you should give her another chance or not, you'll have to seriously think about how much you care about her and if you think it would be worth it to try dating again.
Hope everything works out,
-Nick

[Kevin147]

Thanks guys for all the wonderful comments that you have gave me. I do have second thoughts though, I'm gonna give her one more chance, and if she blows that one by breaking up with me and going with another guy, then I'm just gonna say its over for good. I noticed how most of you guys put that she might of wanted to see if it was better with the other guy, some of my friends are saying that she is using me because she needs someone in her life to talk too. My friends are also saying maybe she is using me until she finds the right person/partner.

Another thing, one of my friends called me today telling me that a 6th grader was talking to his friends, and that my friend heard what they said. (I was absent from school, I was sick). A boy of the name Austin, said to his friends, "Hey, I called Torry last night again" And Torry is my girl friends name. So I'm wondering about that also... I'll find out sooner or later, but I'll just play along and be ready until another thing happens. I would like some more people to post their opinions, because I really need some different thoughts from different people..

Thanks to those who posted!

-Kevin147

[lcsoman0117]

Well Kevin, I hope all works better the second time around. As for the sixth grader stating he called your girlfriend.... is there possible another torry? Are him and torry possibly friends? Just see how things go before making false accusation and coming to conclusions, worrying is proven to lead to more problems in most cases.

[Kevin147]

I go to the same school as Torry, and there's no other Torry. I am just in a different grade. My friend is also in the same grade as me. And most likely the 6th grader is friends with Torry, not to sure, but there is a HUGE possibility, because I did ask her if she knew anyone in her grade that was a boy that the name starts with A, and the first name she said was Austin. I brought that up to my friends which had forgot the name, and they said that it was the name of the person who said that they called Torry.

Thanks again!

And I will give her another chance, but if she blows it again, theres no other chances I am giving her.

Please post some more, I need some more opinions.

-Kevin147

[nickw_2013]

I hope everything works out between you and her this time! About her using you until she finds the right guy, maybe she is maybe she isn't, she probally wouldn't tell you if you asked anyways. You just have to show her that you are the right guy, and she won't need anyone else. Be there for her so she always has someone to talk to about anything.
Hope everything works out!,
-Nick

[Kevin147]

Thanks, I hope it gets better and works out also!