A similar problem

[HeartShapedGlasses]

Well, Ive looked around here, and I like what I see. Everyone is so understanding, and I havent seen any flaming, which is the last thing I need right now. So, here goes:

I am a female, and I am 18. The issue I have is regarding how I feel about girls.

Ive been friends with a particular girl for over 7 years now, and its been fine, and normal. But, in our 9th grade year, a certain series of events led to us kissing each other (nothing erotic, just a quick kiss on the lips). Ever since then I've had this certain attraction to her, and at times, other girls. But, I like guys all the same!

This attraction isn't new. Its not some loud, "I want to like girls!" sort of thing...Its been quietly growing inside me for years, alive inside me since that fateful day in 9th grade, but only recently have I been trying to embrace it. I've talked to her about it, and she has the same issue as me, and we've decided to try and work it out together, but I'm having more difficultly than Id like to have.

I don't know if its just me, or if its "real". What I mean is, I don't want to consider myself bisexual if Im not! It would be a lie, and I dont want to do that. I love and support the GLBTQ community, and Id hate to screw that up by lying about who I am. I want to make SURE before I go about saying I am Bi when to everyone else, I am not.

Ive never had sex with a girl, or a relationship, and honestly, I'm not ready for either. Im just physically attracted to them, and I get enjoyment from kissing them, but I dont know if that makes me bisexual, or just experimental...

Please help me, Im tired of being confused...It truly saddens me to be unsure about this, b/c it means SO much to me. I don't want to wonder "What if?" anymore...I don't want to be burdened down with akwardness and uncertainty when someone brings the subject up...

I want to know for sure.

[The Mage]

I have expressed my opinion a few times before , but once more won't hurt.

I think it is wrong to try to label one's self with tags like "gay/homosexual" , "straight/heterosexual" and "bi/bisexual".
More or less almost everyone must have been or will be attracted at least once to the same sex.

You know, terms come and go. A great example is the term "madness". It used to describe schizophrenia and other illnesses, but now it's obsolite.
Schizophrenia as a term is also being discussed as going obsolite and replaced as well by other , more descriptive terms that won't give such a stigma to the person itself.

If you want to give a tag on yourself, to characterize yourself, use the term "human". You are homo sapiens, and sapiens means wise. That is the only terminology that can depict what you are, the others (gay , bi, straight , etc) are only shallow terms that are just too cheap to go on something so precious , so elegant and unique.
Human always change, always evole, develop new thoughts and stops having old ones. Therefore if you tag yourself with any such term you would imply the opposite, since no one knows how things come. You might one day decide you are something else.

My advice is just don't worry about crap like sexuality, it's too low for a human to do, when you can perform really complex thinking.
You can say you are attracted to both sexes, or if you still want to find a term to use, maybe you could consider these : "homoflexible" or "heteroflexible".
I hope I helped :)

[Fenriz]

I don't think people would judge you for stating your bi and then changing your mind. I think perhaps the best idea is to either wait until you somehow know if you are or not, or to just tell people you are just curious perhaps? Depends how open you want to be with people. Just don't let their opinions of you govern what you do.

[Kittys!]

Heterosexual Homosexual and Bisexual are all irrelevant , all things are attracted to each other in some way. Almost no one in the world is 100% "straight" or should i say only attracted to the opposite sex, same with 100% "gay" . We are all , if you want to put a little label on us, really bisexual because we are attracted to each other, same sex and what not. Scientists made a scale of 0 to 6 , 0 being totally heterosexual and 6 being totally homosexual, most people would be something like 1-5 which means , result wise, we are all "bisexual".
Where is this going? You let your feelings tell you what you want , not peer pressure or other outside things. You are the only one that know what you want.

[Captain]

My uncle... got married very soon after he met his wife. They had 3 children. the eldest is 18 the youngest it... im not sure... 12 maybe... I rarely see them. Well when I was about 5 he told everyone he was gay. He now has a boyfriend, lives in a $470,000 house and is happier than he has ever been. He isnt devorced yet because his psychotic wide (shes loco) wont sign the papers for the divoce because she wants him if he goes back to straight.


With that storty I think the moral is. Try to embrace what you feel, not what is the norm. And if you do wait and leave all that bubbleing inside you one day it might spill over and you cant take it anymore and then you cheat on your husband and then all hell will break loose :p

I don't know waht else I can add.

[HeartShapedGlasses]

Thank you everyone...I feel alot better about this now. I will take some time to reflect on what you guys said and think things over. Again, thank you so much.

[Jakethy]

I think it is wrong to try to label one's self with tags like "gay/homosexual" , "straight/heterosexual" and "bi/bisexual".
More or less almost everyone must have been or will be attracted at least once to the same sex.

Well said. People fall in love with people. Love isn't necessarily a physical attraction first. It's sometimes an emotional attraction that could develop into a physical attraction eventually, but it doesn't always begin with physical attraction. In fact, I think it's better if it develops emotionally first because then the relationship isn't just a physical one... it's a real one.

[OhDangItsVee]

I honestly don't believe that anyone is `100% straight. At some point in your life, I think everyone at least question just for a second about how they feel about the same sex. If you're really unsure, just experiment and see what you like.

[betty18]

Hi H.S.Glasses,

I think there is such a thing as 100% straight. U can love a GF & kiss a gf, & hug a gf; but if U can't imagine having sex w/her then U R straight bb. I am Bi, and there is nothing wrong w/admitting that. There is nothing wrong w/being Bi. U can get married and have kids. My gfs & I discovered that we were Bi when we were sophomores in Hi School. Have U & Ur gf ever been nude in front of each other? Have U ever masturbated thinking of Ur Gf? Forget the label sweetheart. If U & Ur Gf would enjoy touching each other & making each other happy - - Go for it Honey.

Love & Kisses,

Betty